To Lead

DEVOTION
1 TIMOTHY
TO LEAD
1 Tim 3:4-5
4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?)
NIV
I am not sure just what type of managing of family is implied here. I know the Greek word certainly leans toward to preside or rule, to stand before in rank. This would than me I am to be the highest ranking member of my household. I think this would certainly coincide with other scriptures which denote me as the head of my family especially my wife. That authority has been given by God because he also holds me accountable for her as well. As my children are grown and married it would be difficult for me to manage them at this point of their lives. Although I have a friend who feels he still is in the managing business and that will never cease, I cannot. My daughters are now in the position of being under the authority and responsibility of the men of God who have been charged with these same words. Now can I guide these men? I suppose in a certain sense yes, but only if they are guidable, that is open to and willing to accept counsel. Did I manage my children when they were under my roof? I think so, especially in directing their lives toward God. Now I am seeing the fruit of that labor, in being able to watch them guide their children toward God. So here I am left with but only my wife to manage, to rule over in a sense, to guide and direct in the path God desires. I am the head of her and I cannot escape it, not that I want to. But that carries so much responsibility far beyond my human efforts can achieve. I fail to be the husband I should be all too often. My old self still struggles for control and it is not in favor of doing the things or being the person God desires. I need more of the Holy Spirit and much less of me in order for that to be accomplished. I think most of the time I am on the right path in my leadership of family, but there are still times when I slip and fall off the right path. I stumble and crash in the ravine. Perfection has eluded me. Does God except perfection in this area in order for me to have spiritual authority within the body of Christ? Even those men who are in spiritual authority have had perfection elude them. No man is perfect and thus I think it would be safe to think if my intentions or desires to be the husband God requires are in line with him, and my motives are right I am moving in the right direction. Yet I still need more of the Spirit. I am not sure it is that I have to try harder, but I have to yield more to him if I am to lead.