The Old and The New

DEVOTION
EPHESIANS
THE OLD AND THE NEW
Eph 4:20-24
20 You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. 21 Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
NIV
There is without question the simple I have put off the old self, so why does it continue to stick away? Who is that old self anyway that he should be so darn difficult to get rid of? He keeps trying to get back in control of the whole of me. I wonder if this put off is a continual process. I wonder if instead of saying I have put of the old self, I should be saying I am putting off the old self daily. I process I am always involved in. This sure makes sense to me as I cannot erase the memories of the past life, or deceitful desires. I cannot forget those things which corrupted me. They haunt my memories like a ghost long dead but who refuses to leave the house. My attitude is renovated in the sense I do want to please God instead of me, or at least that old self and its desires. I do have a new attitude toward the purpose of life and toward my relationship with Jesus Christ. That old self did not even have a relationship with Christ. If fact, that old self hated God and all the organized religion men were engaged in. So without any reservation I can say to myself I have a completely different and new attitude toward God. I know now I have been created to be like him in true righteousness and holiness. Yet it worries me, maybe even plagues me a bit that even thought I have a new attitude about God, I still struggle so much with the old self. I wonder if I actually just allow him to get in and I make those bad choices, I say something I should not, I respond the way I should not, I get impatient, or act in a manner which surely is not the new self, or the self controlled by the Spirit, but rather by the old self. Is it I simply forget to allow the Spirit access, or do I knowingly refuse him access? I have to put aside that old way of being, the old behaviors, the old thinking on a continual basis. I am the one who is in control of me. Although the Spirit is there, I still ultimately am in control, I am not a mere puppet or pawn to be moved and controlled by God. He has given me the free will to decide on my own and I have decided to follow him, and thus I must put that old self down daily. To deny he exists would be foolish, I would be lying to myself and actually endangering my very being. No I must acknowledge the reality of the old self and put it away each and every day. I will follow the new attitude.