Disputes

DEVOTION

PROVERBS

DISPUTES

Prov 18:18-19

18 Casting the lot settles disputes and keeps strong opponents apart.

19 An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.

NIV

It would seem right to combine these two as they speak about the same issue. It is difficult to consider that believers would even live with any disputes. Yet these sayings are not written for the unbeliever as they are not reading them in order to be corrected, rebuked, taught or trained in righteousness, as we are. So then first we should consider the easiest solution to any dispute is to flip a coin, heads we win, trails we lose, the matter is settled. But is it? Does that put the matter to rest within our being, our spirit? It should, yet this second saying proves there can be a resentment within if we are unyielding to consider the matter closed. If we carry resentment, bitterness or are unwilling to forgive, we are being like a fortified city. We close ourselves off from others, keeping them at bay, at a distance, not allowing them to enter into our hearts. If they attempt to make restitution they are shut out by our barred gates. At least in the casting of lots we agree to disagree and let the matter go, parting ways equitably. This allows each of us to move on being the person we need to be, if that is as a believer then following after God, if that is as an unbeliever then so be it. But, as we are believers, we cannot allow ourselves to be shut off from settling the matter. It hurts both the offended and the offender. If the dispute arises between two believers it is even more important to settle it immediately. When we are offended we cannot be that fortified city, unyielding to offer forgiveness. It seems when we are offended we stew, waiting for the offender to come seeking forgiveness. Then, maybe we might forgive, but only after making sure they understand how terrible they were for offending us. We need to explain how much they hurt us, how they should have acted or spoken in a different manner, taking the opportunity to teach them a lesson. But this is not the way of God. He forgives without finding fault or without a harsh rebuke. Our offense against God has already been forgiven at the cross. If we are going to be followers of Christ, then we need to be the forgiver even before the offender asks to be forgiven. Yes, we are to seek forgiveness from God, but in reality he has already forgiven us. The act of repentance or seeking forgiveness is for our sense of completeness. It provides us with that sense of peace with God. He has already been at peace with us, because of Christ. God justifies us through our faith. So then we should live in that same manner with other believers. They live in peace with us, because of their faith. We should forgive them even before they ask. What if God said we hurt him and he is not sure if he can forgive us, it might take a while for him to get over it? Sounds wrong, doesn’t it. Then let us not be unyielding. Let us not shut up our gates. Let us be open and willing to forgive and move on in our walk with the Lord and with each other. Let us be done with disputes.