Longing

DEVOTION
1 THESSALONIANS
LONGING
1 Thess 2:17-20
17 But, brothers, when we were torn away from you for a short time (in person, not in thought), out of our intense longing we made every effort to see you. 18 For we wanted to come to you — certainly I, Paul, did, again and again — but Satan stopped us. 19 For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you? 20 Indeed, you are our glory and joy.
NIV
I am not sure if I have ever had an intense longing to see anyone from my past, even those I have had the immense pleasure of leading them to the Lord Jesus Christ. Is there something wrong with me? Why is this not part of my being? Do I not care about them because I do not have this intense longing to see them again? I don’t think I have ever been stopped by Satan in my efforts to visit people from the past. Maybe he is the reason I do not have this intense longing, no it is simply me. I was never and most likely still am a somewhat solitary person. I am completely drained whenever I am in some social setting and thus I do not pursue being with any people very much. But I think that is not the way I should be as a believer. I think I am supposed to desire to be with people so I can have interaction with them regarding Christ. I am convinced I do not think of those people I have lead to Jesus as my joy and crown when I get to see Jesus. Maybe I should. Maybe I should not because I think that is prideful. I am humbled that my Lord used me is such a way to bring a few people into his glories light. Yet I still must deal with the fact I do not have an intense longing to see them again. Although I do get to see one fairly often I do not long to see him. There has to be something missing in my character. Is not the Spirit at work in me? Although even though I am not physically in the presence of some fellow believers, I do think about them often so maybe I am not as awful as I think I am. I simply do not know. If I am to have a different approach to this or opinion about my interactions or intense longing to be with other believers, the Spirit must direct my heart in this matter. I must be more open to hear from him as well. The question is do I want to have this longing.