Revenge

DEVOTION
ROMANS
REVENGE

Rom 12:19
19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.
NIV
It surely would seem to me, I do not take revenge on anyone, and at least I don’t think that I do. But in reading this I have to ask the hard question of myself, do I? What constitutes taking revenge? I almost do not want to explore this once I checked out the Greek and discovered it also carries the meaning of to vindicate or retaliate as well as punish. I cannot say that I punish people, yet maybe I do in a mental or emotional sense. I know I endeavor to vindicate myself, or justify myself, trying to make myself right, or not willing to take responsibility for doing wrong especially in relational situations. Again, I know better, but I still fail at doing what is right. Now if I think of revenge as getting even, I am sure I can escape from that. But then, maybe not, in the sense concerning emotional matters I might. Do I withdraw, or hold back because I felt hurt and thus want to hurt back? Is that not revenge? Is that not retaliation? I think so. I am guilty! Oh Lord, how can you speak so clearly to my heart? I know I have read this before and only thinking of your wrath, but never thinking about my actions. When I am hurt by someone, or ignored, or not given the due I think I should, or disagreed with, or shown to be wrong in some way, I must not allow my spirit to feel like taking revenge, responding with retaliation. How can I do this? It is a difficult thing. The human response acts first almost without thought. A reaction which is nearly automatic and this bothers me. If I am walking in the Spirit, if I am being influenced by the Spirit, should I not have some idea of my response before I respond? Should I not be able to check my humanity and allow the Spirit to have a chance to influence my response? I think so. So why don’t I? I simply am dumbfounded by this. It is not what I want to do or be like and yet there I am. I must simply work on that humble thing and allow God to do what He does best. He is the one who will care for all those situations. He will deal with those who might act harshly, rudely, unloving or uncaring toward me. But that too would not seem right to me. I surely would not want that for them, but what can I do about that? Not much I think. Each of us has to respond to God. I know that I could possible help in the sense of being aware and not creating a situation which could cause others to act toward me in a way they should not. I pray, Lord you will lead me.